One sided

Love, if it is true, is always one sided.

I do not mean to say here that two people cannot be in mutual love of each other. That, though in actuality rare, is possible.

What I want to convey is, that if one truly loves the other person, it is going to be one sided. The feeling one has for the other is not going to be dependent on how the other feels. For the lack of a better word, one may say that all love, in essence, is platonic.

If it weren’t so, and if in fact we were dependent on reciprocity to truly love someone, it would become a mere transaction. just a “give and take“. No?

Sounds complex and unreal!  Understand this by this example.

Pick up any person that you know you truly love. Husband/ Wife/ Parent/ Sibling/ Child……. Now, if that person were to not love you back, for whatever reasons; keeping aside the hurt/ anger etc of not being loved back, would you really stop loving that person? If your sibling told you he/she was indifferent towards you, you may be upset, but would that knowledge that there is no reciprocity, end your love for that person.

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Think hard…. And here’s the clincher… if your answer to my above question is that lack of desired emotion from the other end would actually hold a place in deciding your emotion for that person; it’s a sad state of affairs for you and that particular relation. Not from the side of that person, but from your side.

Now I’ll move on to the next level question. That is, if you agree with what I said above.

Now that we know that love for the other person is not dependent on them, why is it so important that the other person reciprocate. Yes, it would be great if he/she did. But what we end up doing is making ourselves miserable if that is not the case. Why?

That person did not ask you to love them. If you, by your own free will, decided that you loved them, do they not get the free will to decide not to have that emotion for you? It is funny how the persons we claim to love become culprits in our eyes if they decide to practice their free will. They have every right not to love you, to love someone else, or feel whichever way they deem fit.

However, my focus is not on that other person, it is on you (Person 1). We get sad, depressed, low etc when we find out that our emotions are only from our end. Now that we know that it isn’t actually of consequence for our emotion that how the other person feels, be happy and grateful that you got a chance to live in the emotion.

An emotion as positive as love, and we blemish it by sighting it as reason for our sadness……Ironical!!!

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Special People

So, today, I sit down to blabber on this post. There is nothing specific on my mind yet. I write as it comes.

I am thinking as I write this of what exactly I will discuss in this post. After putting some thought to it, I think I’ll write about those people around me who matter to me, for one reason or the other, and who they are and just how special and nice human beings they are.  (This post might as well turn into a long series of me praising a lot of people, please be patient). Also , I am not going to be including friends in this post. Maybe some other time. This one is just for my family.

1. MOM

My mom. What to say about her. She’s just the best person around. She ‘s multi-talented. I love her singing, cooking, craft, drawing, interior decoration, her control over English, Hindi and even Sanskrit. She never cowers away from stitching a dress. Never have I seen her worry about how things will happen in time. It’s like she finds her 48 hours in our 24. She loves to read, and not light reading. She has a PhD in Psychology and still manages to master all other subjects too (except Maths, that’s her comparative weakness). Ma, you mean everything to me, I Love You.

2. DAD

He’s a great guy. Sports and brain are so his thing. He’s outstanding in Badminton and Squash and on the way there in Golf. He does maths in his head that others may not even be able to do with pen and paper and may straight away need a calculator for. He’s a very strong man on the outside but has a very emotional heart. The look on his face when he was waiting for my admission to happen during counselling for college, and the look a few days back when we were at the doctor’s office and I had just been diagnosed with Dengue are something I will never forget. I remember once, when he had hurt his foot  and it was bleeding. Seeing him in that pain had made me cry. I Love You Babba (Dad).

3. SISTERS

Vaibhavi and Aadhya, my ‘real’ siter and my ‘cousin’ sister, I love you both. Both of them  irritate me to the hilt and make me shout at them. I make them both do all the work that I should. With them, I am mostly fighting but they both are very very precious to me.  Their coming was the best thing that happened to me. May they both always be blessed.

4. ANAY JI

Anay Abbhi is my youngest cousin. He’s a cute-heart of a child and the naughtiest kid around. He loves to defy what others tell him. He is the most stubborn person around, and he just loves to tease me when he gets his way over mine. But for all this and much more, I just adore and love him. Seeing him through the window pane on the day he was born is a sight I am never going to forget. I Love You Anay.

5. BHAI

My elder brother Partha is the most frustrating brother that can ever exist. While he is at times downright rude and doesn’t care a bit to how I feel about certain things, he is still that one person I can confide everything in and turn to whenever I need sane advice. I turn to him whenever something is emotionally nagging me and I turn to him when all I need is some jokes to read and forward. For everything that you are bhai, I Love You Mars ke Praani (added on request by the younger sisters).

6. GRANDPARENTS

I realized how much they meant to me when the first of the four left us. Since then, my emotions towards them have been realized by me and have grown every-time I meet them or talk to them. When my other grandmother left too, it took me some time to realize just how much it had affected me. It is still hard for me to believe at times that both of them are gone. I still hardly talk to my grandfathers. However, a lot has changed and each time I part ways with either of them, I wish I could just put in words how much I love them. I Love You Nana, Dadaji, Nanima, Dadi.

7. MAMA/MAMI/ TAUJI/ TAIJI

Tiny mama, Neelam mami, Himanshu Tauji and Rachana Taiji,  have always had my best interests in mind and it means a lot to me. I know my acts have troubled them all often and for that, I am sorry. I wish I could just be expressive to them that they mean a lot to me and that I love them. I Love You All.

8. THE REST

A few cousins and relatives are also in the list. They are not countable and nor do I wish them to be. For all of them who have been with me in my most horrific times and who have kept me in their good books no matter what. For all of those relatives who care so much about me, I care for them a lot too. I Love You as well.

That is it for today. A sentimental post. And one I hope does not leave you frustrated with having so little sense to readers.

Take care all and a Happy upcoming Diwali.

The end of the road

Yesterday night, another one of the journeys of my life came to a dead end. For reasons of which I am still in denial my relationship came to an end yesterday.

It hurts that you give someone your everything and it does not work out.

I so want to play the blame game right now and put it all on him but I need to understand that it takes two people for anything to work or fail.

To be honest I don’t even know why I am putting this out here and not in my personal diary. But whatever be the reason, I know one thing. After nearly 3 years of blogging, I am in some ways more comfortable with my readers here than maybe even my personal diary.

To all of you who came here expecting to read a post, I am sorry you had to face a rant.

Take care everyone. And though this won’t make much sense coming from someone most probably in depression, but don’t think too far ahead in life, the more elaborate plans you make, the more it hurts when they break.

बस यूँ ही (jlt)

एक कविता यूँ ही:

जब भी तुम्हे ढूँढने चली, हाथ लगी तो सिर्फ निराशा,
जानती हूँ तुम मेरे नहीं, फिर भी है इक पगली सी आशा.
तुम्हे पता है सब कुछ, फिर कभी बोलते क्यूँ नहीं,
मेरी ज़िन्दगी में अपने प्यार का रंग, घोलते क्यूँ नहीं?
बैठी हूँ तुमसे दूर, चाहती हूँ पास आना,
तुम्हारी ऐसी कोई चाह नहीं, यह भी मैंने जाना.
एक आवाज़ तो लगा के देखो, आयुंगी दौड़ के,
यह झूठा जो संसार बुना है, पीछे छोड़ के.
तुम्हारे बारे में सोचूं तो निशब्द हो जाती हूँ,
तुम्हारे ख्यालों में मानो खो सी जाती क्यूँ?
आज फिर हुआ यूँ की भटक सी गयी,
ख्वाबों में तुम्हारे अटक सी गयी.
जब भी तुम्हे देखती हूँ अपने आँगन में,
तितलियाँ सी उड़ने लगती हैं मन में.
तुम्हारे करीबी दोस्तों में से मैं शायद नहीं,
पर क्या आती हूँ किसी भी गिनती में कहीं?
जो डोर तुमने पकड़ी ही नहीं, मुझे बांधे है क्यूँ,
ये बावरा दिल मेरा, तुम्हे चाहे है क्यूँ?

P.S.: A must read post – Unwinnable battles

Special seven

Once upon a time there was a number. A number loved by many but mostly by a little girl. She loved it because to her it seemed beautiful, a beauty only she attributed to it, and to it only. She always tried to own things that much in number. Like make sure she had that many shoes, for example. It was kiddish and silly, but she was a kid and she was silly. She loved loving the number.

Then she grew up. Growing up bought with it a lot of complex ideas, like rationality, maturity, to name a few. Suddenly others around her started questioning why she liked that number. What was in it that she liked? She tried sticking to her old argument (and also the truth) of finding beauty in it, but none believed her. She herself started believing her thought was wrong and so she changed her thinking. She turned the tables and now said, ” I had most things this many in number, when I was a kid, so I love the number.”

This new argument was at least accepted by most. And thus she continued liking this very like-able number. She still always wished to own things that many in number, and loved when anyone mentioned the number. But with age came the sense of it being childish. She soon forgot the number for the most part. Whenever the number did come up somewhere, it reminded her of ‘something’. She just stopped clearly remembering what that something was.

The number in itself was nothing unique. It wasn’t as if it was the largest number or a number with any unique quality. It wasn’t even like the number ‘0’, with a lot of mathematical importance per say.  It was a number with many angels (literally) in it. However, this number is no less important. Musically, and mythological-ly it is a number of great attributes. Here are it’s qualities.

This number, that was so close to the girl’s heart, is the number of basic musical notes there are. It is the number that plays the most prominent role in Indian marriages. It is the number of believed holy cities in India. It is the number of sacred rivers in India. It is the number of flames of Agni (fire) in Indian mythology. It is the number of existent directions. Finally, it is the number of colours white light splits into.

Getting back to the girl, she was by now a lady, or so she proudly thought. Things were in equilibrium now. She did not scream and shout about her love. But in her heart, she knew just how much that number appealed to her. She still tried using it the most she could. Though unlike childhood, she didn’t get upset if it didn’t happen. All was well with the world.

Then came a time when she interviewed some of her online friends through her blog. Oh yes, she was a blogging addict. When she was posting a round of such interviews, a friend read about her love for the number. The friend, Vinay(Leo) then went on to challenge her at her “Challenge Accepted” page. So here is the story as reply to his challenge. And this made me write even more on my favourite number 7. And that is why I love the number.

Interview – YOU

So yes, another new innovation to my blog. Have you noticed how I become innovative when I seem to have nothing to write about!

Ya, so, this time, I am going to be holding interviews… of the sort that I would, if you so wish, be mailing you a small questionnaire and I would, if you do reply, post a couple(2) of the interviews as a post [all interviews would be posted in batches of 2]. It is up-to the discretion of the person if he/she wishes to be anonymous or share their name and a link to their blog.

I was initially thinking of listing down all the bloggers who I would love to interview but then I realized it would be exceptionally long. So here is requesting EACH and EVERY one of you who have come here and who own a blog, please contact me through the Contact Me page, and let me know that I can indeed send you the questionnaire. You have a right to stay anonymous if you wish and also completely decline if you feel the need, which I assure you, you will not. Why I am doing this is because I would love to know you all better and also share a part of you with everyone and ofcourse everyone likes to be interviewed… so that’s the incentive for you. So please don’t hesitate and contact me… why I have kept this as the procedure is to have your email ids without the world knowing them.

*Note – I will not share your email id with anyone else. :p

So, now don’t think about it, just go ahead and send me a mail, and be interviewed. 🙂

P.S. The great posts to read – Stupid Common Man, The connotation of the word FREE, Expressing Love.

7-0

June 2, 2011 – The date my blog hit 10,000 views. Calculating from 14th December 2009, it took 70 weeks plus to achieve that. This was phase 1.

Phase 2 was from June 2nd till yesterday… 35 + weeks and my stats show 70,000. My first reaction on this calculation was WOOOOW! That is Something.

A 6 fold increase in half the time… i m so on cloud 9 and beyond… 🙂

A huge thanks to Indiblogger, to all of my readers and to all those social sites that have made this possible. Thanks with a big hug. 🙂

Today, I am starting this new concept in which I will end each post with a link to any great post I have recently read, be it new or old. Starting with a post by my good friend and co-blogger Leo – Mother