Disrespecting love

A little less than 3 years ago I wrote a post named One Sided. I find the closing lines of this post fit to be quoted here before I move on to my actual post:

“We get sad, depressed, low etc when we find out that our emotions are only from our end. Now that we know that it isn’t actually of consequence for our emotion that how the other person feels, be happy and grateful that you got a chance to live in the emotion.

An emotion as positive as love, and we blemish it by sighting it as reason for our sadness……Ironical!!!”

 

The above post was written from an abstract view and now three years later there is much I wish to add to these last lines.

 

We’ve established that loving someone has little to do with the other person. Why then are we hurt when the feelings are not reciprocated, or even worse, no longer reciprocated? We give the other person the right and the respect to not be in love with us, and while that is very mature of us, why do we still hurt ourselves over it? It is one thing to relive memories and quite another to let them overwhelm us and cause us pain. At such moments why are we not in control of  our mind instead of our mind controlling us?

We’ve heard a million times that it is hard/ impossible to move on from something there was or could be. “Moving on” is the moment of realization that what was/ could be was/may have been beautiful but that isn’t the axis on which our mind revolves. Yes, that chocolate bar will remind us of them, so will the places we shared. Thus, moving on is all about, then, is relating these to the happy memories and not to the pain of loss.  Hurting over the loss will not cease it, letting go of the feelings of loss will.

Love is indeed one sided and it has indeed nothing to do with the person we are in love with. Thus, we do not need the other person when we fall in love with them and nor do we need them when we choose we are letting go. However hard it seems to accept this, it is US who decide when we give up the hurt. The “emotion” that is “uncontrollable” is stemming from us. Stop watering the plant of hurt and the same shall die a timely death. Why do we encourage hurt when encouraging memories. Are we too weak to disassociate the two?

I’ll leave you with one question to ponder over: Is hurt over the acts of another not a form of hate for that person? Believing that we are hurt by someone or the circumstances relating to someone is the same as disrespecting the beautiful memories we have had/ had imagined with that person. I am certain that isn’t our aim.

*TO PEACE*

The end of the road

Yesterday night, another one of the journeys of my life came to a dead end. For reasons of which I am still in denial my relationship came to an end yesterday.

It hurts that you give someone your everything and it does not work out.

I so want to play the blame game right now and put it all on him but I need to understand that it takes two people for anything to work or fail.

To be honest I don’t even know why I am putting this out here and not in my personal diary. But whatever be the reason, I know one thing. After nearly 3 years of blogging, I am in some ways more comfortable with my readers here than maybe even my personal diary.

To all of you who came here expecting to read a post, I am sorry you had to face a rant.

Take care everyone. And though this won’t make much sense coming from someone most probably in depression, but don’t think too far ahead in life, the more elaborate plans you make, the more it hurts when they break.

Perfect Life

Many a times, each one of us have cribbed on how our life is unfair. How life per say should be different. Why do our loved ones die? Why are there heartbreaks? Can’t life be more kind on us and not give us such horrors? Why diseases like Cancer or AIDS or Brain Hemmorhage? Why can only life be made of small things like just getting hurt? LIFE IS SO IMPERFECT FOR EVERYONE.

 

Here’s a glimpse into a perfect life. The ideal human life, as we all want it to be :

  1. There is no death. So I get to live with all my forever. And the future generations just keep living with us. Everyone is happy. We have all loved ones around us. And guess what, no history lessons needed. The participants would be with us only.
  2. No one gets a deadly disease. The maximum anyone has is cough or cold or maybe a bruise. No need for tears or slow deaths. Or even any medicines and expensive treatments. Some bandages and Savlon is enough. And because no trouble of diseases, no crying out over fancy facilities to ‘stay safe’.
  3. There are no social or religious evils, as we call them. Thus the need for social institutions, NGOs etc is lost. So much money is saved here. Also no fighting for positions. No power games. Nothing.
  4. Everyone has a perfect supply of food and other things. No killing over for that. How nice!
  5. No black markets, no robberies. The world is peaceful.

These are just some of the aspects of the perfect world. The combinations could be many many more.

NOW, is the other side of the coin visible or should I show it?

I guess I should.

  1. Let’s get the population issue first. Fit all these people on this Earth, can we? Also the resources, as if are not dying fast, that we need more burden on them. Or maybe the perfect world can have an ever expanding land and other resources too… this is imagination, right? And who needs any education system. Everyone is right there to teach us everything.
  2. No diseases, no hospitals, medicines etc. Half the economy and education system down? Who needs doctors, nurses, chemists etc.
  3. No evils means no propaganda for their cure needed. The ‘good’ books, the lectures, the stress management market. All gone. No power games, but then who does come to power and how is the economy run at all?
  4. With everyone having equal resources, who needs anything more in distribution and management. No management issues means no MBAs needed. Out of the half economic sector left, here’s three-fourth more gone.
  5. Last but not the least. No problems means no solutions required. No more Armed forces, or Police need to be there. No need of a judicial system. No need of any system at all.

What we have left is no economy, no systems, no education, no government of any sort (what’s the need). Absolutely nothing but content human beings. Or are they? How do they interact? How to goods get exchanged? What do we teach our children, what runs as education?

And her’s the last straw to this pile of ‘Happiness’ (sarcasm intended).

When there is no death, no cancer, no hurt, no power play, no miserable lives, would we stop calling life unfair? Would not your family member catching a cold become the end of the world.

” I am so unlucky, my sister caught a cold today. Poor her. That is the worst thing in the world. How unfair life is” (because then, catching a cold would be the worst thing in the world).

 

I won’t moralize you with the lesson needed to be learnt here. You all are smart enough. 🙂

Take care.

Abortion

I know this is just one side of the coin. But I personally believe this is the bigger and heavier side. I found this on the internet today and I just had to share it…. it made me cry! Literally!

Hi, Mommy.

I’m your baby. You don’t know me yet, I’m only a few weeks old. You’re going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I’ve got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don’t have it yet, but I will when I’m born. I’m going to be your only child, and you’ll call me your one and only. I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We’ll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn’t wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I
know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! …He wasn’t happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don’t think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called
wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don’t think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and
your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay… but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That’s a sound I don’t like. It doesn’t make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,
and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I’m not sure if I do. It wasn’t right. You say he loves you… why would he hurt you? I don’t like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you’re so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most
beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I’m happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will
make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’t know why, but that’s what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry,
Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won’t let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don’t care if you think that he is a good person, I think he’s bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn’t want
us. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t he like me, Mommy?

You didn’t talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It’s been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven’t talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don’t you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when
you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don’t you do that when you’re awake, any more?

I’m 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren’t you proud of me? We’re going somewhere today, and it’s somewhere new. I’m excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell
you that? I hope you’re as excited as I am. I can’t wait.

Mommy, I’m getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don’t know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something’s going to happen soon. I’m really, really, really scared,
Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don’t worry Mommy, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it’s called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don’t you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I’m really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don’t you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn’t I love you enough? Please say
you’ll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don’t want to be here, I want you to love me again! I’m really really really sorry if I did
something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy..♥ =(

->Every abortion is just:

-One more heart that was stopped.. =(
-Two more eyes that will never see.. =(
-Two more hands that will never touch.. =(
-Two more legs that will never run.. =(
-One more mouth that will never speak.. =(

 

P.S. A post you must read… The ‘unfamiliar’ Bane and My story

P.P.S. I would be next blogging on the 14th… so take care till then.

Bow wow – This is me

Hello everyone. I am bow wow. I’ll come to, in a little while, how I got this particular name.. or to be more exact why I chose to be identified by this one of the many that I am called by. Before that, here is how you all see me. (This picture is only for general identification purposes and it is not me)

This post was a challenge from Leo, on my page, ‘Challenge Accepted‘. It’s his 5th challenge and I know the next is en-route… thanks Leo

So, I had to tell you about my name, right? All of you call me by different names. Each of these names you give me out of love or hate shows how you feel towards me. I remember once a lady who called me ‘baby’ because she found me innocent and cute, and then there was this guy who referred to me as “ch**iya” as he definitely seemed to dislike my presence. Bow wow is what babies call me when they cross me by. It has to do with my barking I suppose, as children start by recognition of voices they recognize me as bow wow. Why I choose this name is because it is these babies and young children who love me the most. They are innocent and unafraid. The elders around me assume I will bite them and the kids. These babies on the other hand have faith that I will inflict no harm on them. It is this faith of their’s that makes me love them so much.

Talking of babies, did you know that when I was born, I was no different than those puppies you keep at home and feed bones and pedigree to. Just like you humans are all born equal and are then differentiated on the basis of where and to whom you were born, so you do the same to us. I can’t complain though, if you are so biased in your own breed, how can you be unbiased towards us.

I have often seen in parks that you try to teach your pets tricks of how to live, but if you ask me, you should learn how to live from them and me. Have you noticed how we never discriminate among each other on the basis of where we were born or bred, it is you who tell them to stay away from us, just like you tell your kids to stay away from certain kids.

Anyway, I seemed to have lost track of what I wanted to tell you, that is my story. Let me tell you about my day.. I get up anytime that my sleep ends. Oh and about sleeping, I sleep anywhere and everywhere. I do not have a comfortable bed or sweaters like your pets. I survive the heat, cold and the rain, and that’s what makes me look so ‘scary’ to you. My healing process is natural when I get hurt and… oh sorry, I digressed again. Moving on, I spend my whole day looking for some food and drink for myself and my family. Sometimes a kind person gives me some bread or chappati… and at other times I eat whatever has been thrown by you all on the roads. The time that I am not looking for food is spent socializing with other dogs. I may not have a blog or facebook to socialize but I know my fellow beings in flesh and blood. Unlike you humans who seem to know everyone around you via these sites but in actuality know none, as the face they have on these sites is just a mask. Also this….. I should stop drifting constantly, sorry for that.Talking of my friends, all the street dogs and even some of your pets are my friends. We discuss everything from the new dogs in the area, to the most beautiful bitch around, to the food issues and mostly about which humans are nice to us and which are not. I am much more free headed than you are, though I have more problems. Trust me, try handling flees, dog catchers, dog fights, swift cats etc, and you’ll know what I mean.

As a street dog, I have a great life. Again not the kinds your pets get; so this is definitely not me :

My life is good because I am not in a chain. I can do what I wish, and however I wish. I can be what I am, no masks. And I am definitely not bossed around as to where to pee and what to eat. You humans find me different from the norm, because you find humans like me (maybe except the peeing part) as also abnormal. They are free from ‘norms’ like I am. They are not like you pets, chained.

My life is good, but I have just one dream, and as much as I dislike this, this dream needs your help to come true… and that is… the next time you cross me on the street, even if for some reason you are afraid of me, do just make me go away by words or gestures, stones and kicks hurt, as I am sure they would hurt you too.

P.S. A post you should definitely read – Near, yet so far