One sided

Love, if it is true, is always one sided.

I do not mean to say here that two people cannot be in mutual love of each other. That, though in actuality rare, is possible.

What I want to convey is, that if one truly loves the other person, it is going to be one sided. The feeling one has for the other is not going to be dependent on how the other feels. For the lack of a better word, one may say that all love, in essence, is platonic.

If it weren’t so, and if in fact we were dependent on reciprocity to truly love someone, it would become a mere transaction. just a “give and take“. No?

Sounds complex and unreal!  Understand this by this example.

Pick up any person that you know you truly love. Husband/ Wife/ Parent/ Sibling/ Child……. Now, if that person were to not love you back, for whatever reasons; keeping aside the hurt/ anger etc of not being loved back, would you really stop loving that person? If your sibling told you he/she was indifferent towards you, you may be upset, but would that knowledge that there is no reciprocity, end your love for that person.

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Think hard…. And here’s the clincher… if your answer to my above question is that lack of desired emotion from the other end would actually hold a place in deciding your emotion for that person; it’s a sad state of affairs for you and that particular relation. Not from the side of that person, but from your side.

Now I’ll move on to the next level question. That is, if you agree with what I said above.

Now that we know that love for the other person is not dependent on them, why is it so important that the other person reciprocate. Yes, it would be great if he/she did. But what we end up doing is making ourselves miserable if that is not the case. Why?

That person did not ask you to love them. If you, by your own free will, decided that you loved them, do they not get the free will to decide not to have that emotion for you? It is funny how the persons we claim to love become culprits in our eyes if they decide to practice their free will. They have every right not to love you, to love someone else, or feel whichever way they deem fit.

However, my focus is not on that other person, it is on you (Person 1). We get sad, depressed, low etc when we find out that our emotions are only from our end. Now that we know that it isn’t actually of consequence for our emotion that how the other person feels, be happy and grateful that you got a chance to live in the emotion.

An emotion as positive as love, and we blemish it by sighting it as reason for our sadness……Ironical!!!

Skeptical Indian

I am today the skeptical Indian. I do not believe what I hear. I find what I see very hard to believe.

What is promised to me as a citizen of this nation is the hardest of all to believe.

Skeptical

 

When I turn on the news, and after yet another incident of rape/ violence / scams by the powerful, the politicians say things will change and are changing, I am skeptical.

When opening the daily newspaper means to read even more of how inhuman people around me are, and then being told such people are an exception, I am skeptical.

When my friends who are judgmental on others for little daily things, tell me their views towards society are different and novel, I am skeptical.

When the people set out to protect the streets, protect the offenders from protesters itself, I am skeptical.

When the protesters who gather to raise their voice against injustice to women, give the women around them dirty looks, I am skeptical.

But most of all, when I realize all of this, and wish to change my thoughts , yet am unable to, I am skeptical.

I am the Skeptical Indian my friends. Are you?

Can’t get this off my mind

I have written about this more than twice already, and yet I am unable to get this off my mind. How can I, when everyday the newspaper reminds me of it in abundance.

I challenge somewhere here, in India, to find a paper of the capital, Delhi, of any recent date, that has not reported a rape case.

  • 3 year old raped in day care centre
  • 9 year old raped in school
  • 15 minors raped in the last two months
  • Another girl gang-raped in auto in capital

These are https://jojofeelings.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.phpthe news items of the last 4 days, not necessary in order. And what are we doing, lighting candles or announcing on TV and Radio that we need to bring a change. Where is the change since 16th December? Has anything changed AT ALL? I have my doubts.https://jojofeelings.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.php

Some of my friends say that the rape situation is indeed getting BETTER as atleast now girls are coming out and reporting the cases. I agree, to an extent, and yet again I ask, is that what this should be about? How many cases are reported? Should it not be about how many cases there are? Should we feel proud of the increasing number of reported cases or should we wait (hopefully not endlessly) for a time when the reported cases are 100% of the actual cases and yet they are less in number than at present?

Today, I wish to share a video which had gone viral on facebook a few weeks back. Watching that video may have made us all think of how appropriate it is, but for how long?

Mombatiyan Jalane se kuch nahi hoga mere bhai, kuch nahi badalne yahan pe, apne dimag ki batti jalao

Liebster Angel

A few days back, my very good friend and fellow blogger Ankit honoured me by bestowing on to me the Liebster Award.

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To read about what the award is, he has explained it in his post “here“.

The rules of the award are:

  • Post 11 things about yourself
  • Answer 11 questions set by the nominator
  • Choose 11 deserving bloggers meeting the criteria
  • Set 11 questions for them.
  • Inform the nominee by commenting on one of their posts.

You are not obligated to accept the award to send it forward. This is just a way to get a word out about new blogs that your followers may not know.

11 things about myself:

  • I am a die hard fan of old songs and only very few of the new ones appeal to me
  • Comedy sitcoms are my weakness
  • I prefer salty food over sweets
  • I am very very moody at times
  • I love to read and write but somehow lose interest soon in both these days
  • I absolutely adore debating with someone who can debate with valid points
  • I do not mind losing a debate if the other person has fair points to tell
  • As of today, I want nothing more than to go back and start living at home again
  • Some people irritate me for no reason whatsoever
  • I tend to trust people too soon
  • I just realized I can only list 10 things about myself (this counts :p )

The 11 answers

  •  What brought you to the blogging world? – My interest in the blogging world was started by a senior of mine in college and thereafter by you and another acquaintance who maintained a blog.
  • Life according to your perspective? – Life is what we make of it, without exceptions. We are that which we got onto ourselves.
  • Do you believe in Karma System? – I believe that without doing so consciously, we ourselves pay for our wrongs, so in that sense, we are our own Karma.
  • If given a chance to go back into your past…Name one thing you would change in your life? That one incident that has made my parents the most embarrassed and made them sad the most.
  • A person you cant live without? – My sister
  • Most dreaded dream that you don’t want to come true? – Too many on an equal footing
  • A thing of past, you want to change? – Repeated question, same answer
  • A message for fellow bloggers? – Write only because you want to, and when you do, don’t let anything stop you
  • Your Favorite Blog (Apart from your Own) – Some Solved Riddles, I Rhyme Without Reason and Point Blanc or Blank Point
  •  One thing That makes you Smile? – My siblings and cousins
  • A few honest words about my blog? – Think more often and about more things. You have much more potential than you think you do.

11 “worthy” bloggers is too hard to choose, so am keeping this numberless, am giving it to as many people as I think fit (sue me for breaking the rules) :

The 11 questions :

  • Your views on GOD and his doings?
  • Your first wish if a Genie were around?
  • What do you think should be the punishment for the “juvenille” in the Delhi case (at present the maximum punishment he can be given by law is 3 years community service and stay in an observation home)?
  • You are most materialistically possessive about?
  • The person you are most possessive about?
  • The song you relate to the most?
  • The most idiotic/ outrageous comment you have ever received about you?
  • The best compliment you have ever received?
  • The one thing in the past you wish you could change?
  • One honest opinion about my blog?
  • What should I change about my blog?

Take care all.

I Wonder

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Rape seems to be a norm,

Women’s body just a mode of pleasure.

No shame remains in any form,

While men create havoc at leisure.

Rang De Basanti is remembered,

Where protestors are unnecessarily hit.

Human again has erred,

Is there no bottom to this lowly pit?

A lot is being spoken,

With absolutely no one to hear.

Each thread of hope broken,

Are we to live in constant fear?

More girls victimised by the day,

Victims including babies three year old.

Will the offenders ever be made to pay,

I am afraid what does the future hold.

The mud is thrown on the women,

Seemingly from unrespectable families they belong.

Who gave this freedom to such men?

To speak whatever in their minds comes along.

A few things

To start with, my blog turned 3 on 14th. Am sorry have been busy with exams. And to compensate for that I am going to give my blog a little gift. This little gift is what my blog has not had for a long time and I believe it to be necessary. You all might have already noticed the gift if you have been here before. Yep, new theme. I wanted it to have a bit more of a simple, classy look. Leo, you worked so much on my last theme, don’t worry I have it all with me, in my system.

And also, two pictures for the wish.

Wish Wishing

 

 

To end with, am facing the worst that can happen to a writer. I do not feel like writing these days. There are many reasons to it, one being added very recently. To all the people who like reading what I write, am sorry to keep you waiting. I know exactly what it is like when we wish to read what someone has to write and we don’t get to. Also I hope I am able to put up a proper post here soon.

For now, browse through the categories. You might find something interesting! 🙂

Take care everyone!

Special People

So, today, I sit down to blabber on this post. There is nothing specific on my mind yet. I write as it comes.

I am thinking as I write this of what exactly I will discuss in this post. After putting some thought to it, I think I’ll write about those people around me who matter to me, for one reason or the other, and who they are and just how special and nice human beings they are.  (This post might as well turn into a long series of me praising a lot of people, please be patient). Also , I am not going to be including friends in this post. Maybe some other time. This one is just for my family.

1. MOM

My mom. What to say about her. She’s just the best person around. She ‘s multi-talented. I love her singing, cooking, craft, drawing, interior decoration, her control over English, Hindi and even Sanskrit. She never cowers away from stitching a dress. Never have I seen her worry about how things will happen in time. It’s like she finds her 48 hours in our 24. She loves to read, and not light reading. She has a PhD in Psychology and still manages to master all other subjects too (except Maths, that’s her comparative weakness). Ma, you mean everything to me, I Love You.

2. DAD

He’s a great guy. Sports and brain are so his thing. He’s outstanding in Badminton and Squash and on the way there in Golf. He does maths in his head that others may not even be able to do with pen and paper and may straight away need a calculator for. He’s a very strong man on the outside but has a very emotional heart. The look on his face when he was waiting for my admission to happen during counselling for college, and the look a few days back when we were at the doctor’s office and I had just been diagnosed with Dengue are something I will never forget. I remember once, when he had hurt his foot  and it was bleeding. Seeing him in that pain had made me cry. I Love You Babba (Dad).

3. SISTERS

Vaibhavi and Aadhya, my ‘real’ siter and my ‘cousin’ sister, I love you both. Both of them  irritate me to the hilt and make me shout at them. I make them both do all the work that I should. With them, I am mostly fighting but they both are very very precious to me.  Their coming was the best thing that happened to me. May they both always be blessed.

4. ANAY JI

Anay Abbhi is my youngest cousin. He’s a cute-heart of a child and the naughtiest kid around. He loves to defy what others tell him. He is the most stubborn person around, and he just loves to tease me when he gets his way over mine. But for all this and much more, I just adore and love him. Seeing him through the window pane on the day he was born is a sight I am never going to forget. I Love You Anay.

5. BHAI

My elder brother Partha is the most frustrating brother that can ever exist. While he is at times downright rude and doesn’t care a bit to how I feel about certain things, he is still that one person I can confide everything in and turn to whenever I need sane advice. I turn to him whenever something is emotionally nagging me and I turn to him when all I need is some jokes to read and forward. For everything that you are bhai, I Love You Mars ke Praani (added on request by the younger sisters).

6. GRANDPARENTS

I realized how much they meant to me when the first of the four left us. Since then, my emotions towards them have been realized by me and have grown every-time I meet them or talk to them. When my other grandmother left too, it took me some time to realize just how much it had affected me. It is still hard for me to believe at times that both of them are gone. I still hardly talk to my grandfathers. However, a lot has changed and each time I part ways with either of them, I wish I could just put in words how much I love them. I Love You Nana, Dadaji, Nanima, Dadi.

7. MAMA/MAMI/ TAUJI/ TAIJI

Tiny mama, Neelam mami, Himanshu Tauji and Rachana Taiji,  have always had my best interests in mind and it means a lot to me. I know my acts have troubled them all often and for that, I am sorry. I wish I could just be expressive to them that they mean a lot to me and that I love them. I Love You All.

8. THE REST

A few cousins and relatives are also in the list. They are not countable and nor do I wish them to be. For all of them who have been with me in my most horrific times and who have kept me in their good books no matter what. For all of those relatives who care so much about me, I care for them a lot too. I Love You as well.

That is it for today. A sentimental post. And one I hope does not leave you frustrated with having so little sense to readers.

Take care all and a Happy upcoming Diwali.