Gender Equlaity

Note – Before I even begin to write what is on my mind, let me clarify that I am aware of and agree to the following, lest I be reminded of these later:

  • Women were mistreated in all possible ways for many many years and still are in some segments
  • The concept of women not being equal to men was never gladly accepted and is still not.
  • Systems such as Dowry, Parda et all should never have existed and should not exist
  • Female foeticide and infanticide are a deplorable reality

HAVING SAID ALL OF THIS, my focus in this post is on the middle class segment of the society which BY AND LARGE does not suffer from these ailments (or at least not in a violent way) – EXCEPTIONS ARE MANY I KNOW!

Today, I will be concentration on equality that needs to be provided to the MEN in our society. Most people must be agreeing with me, but never state the same given that it is completely against what SHOULD be said.

I want the females reading this to picture the following (the men are already a part of this so no need for them to imagine):

  • A coach specifically reserved for the ladies in the Metro, and the right to travel in all other coaches as well – and then when in PEEK Rush Hour, some females decide to board the general coach, the expectation by them that all men will maintain one arm’s distance from them – and every time the same is not done (simply because it is not possible in that kind of crowd), the women cry hoarse over the issue subjecting the men to humiliation and shame. [I have seen this so many times in the last one month plus of travelling by metro that I pity the poor men]
  • A woman can flirt with any man around her that she wishes to, and it is supposed to be taken as a compliment by the men – but the minute a man she doesn’t WANT attention from decides to flirt with her, all charges of molestation, eve-teasing etc. are rattled off on the guy. EITHER disallow the women also from flirting with the men THEY THINK FIT OR allow the men also to flirt with the women THEY THINK FIT.
  • During a fight between two people, the woman may threaten to kill, destroy, harm the man and the man is supposed to understand that she is saying all these things in anger (even if she may have meant them), but the man as much as glares at the woman or as much as moves his hand (not hitting her), a case of Domestic Violence is slapped on to the guy.
  • A woman decides to dress in absolutely see through clothes (I have seen a female – on a metro platform, dressed in a white see through skirt, to the extent that her inner garments were visible). Such woman expects to attract all the attention she WANTS and no UNWANTED attention. It’s simple – you don’t want men of all kinds staring at you – don’t wear such clothes at 9:30 in the night in a public place. Any man who as much as looks in the direction of such females  will be called names and questions will be raised on everything ranging from his character to his upbringing.
  • The woman (wife) can decide to disrespect her in-laws, not even be courteous to them, take their son away (literally) from their home and lives and no-one bats an eyelid, but if a man as much as suggests that the girl’s family is too interfering, this amounts to CRUELTY on the woman.
  • In any given field today, there is reservation for Lower Castes, Economically backward,….., Women – Where it leaves the general category men, I shudder to think.

At no point am I claiming that middle class females are not subject to atrocities. My sole contention is that, for the acts of a few, why is the whole community of men being held guilty. Why have we made it a habit to assume it is the man’s fault? Why is it that before we even know an iota of the story, we assume that somehow somewhere the man is wrong? If the woman is angry, it is the man;s fault, he must have caused the provocation; if the man feels angry, it is the man’s fault, he should not have given in to the provocation, “if at all” by the woman. EQUALITY???

The following video shows just what equality should mean (I INSIST EVERYONE WATCH IT ONCE) –


6 thoughts on “Gender Equlaity

  1. I am glad to see such post coming from a girl.

    I was shocked to see the news that Hyderabad Metro authorities are proposing an ‘All Women Metro Station’ in order to boost the Woman Empowerment….now how on this earth an all women station would promote their empowerment…rather, it promotes the message that women need separate treatment which is opposite to so called ‘Equality’. May be it is Rahul Gandhi’s version of empowerment.

    In contrast to this, I also oppose women accepting the thought of not entering prayer room/temples just because they are into their periods….planning to eradicate this atleast from my family soon….

  2. hmmm now those are very genuine thoughts but its a shame that our society doesnot heed by them.. I wrote a post a long time back on similar thing that sometimes we need to look at the scene from both a MAN and a WOMAN’s view and then decide who is wrong or right.. its not always that men are to be blames .. and as you say because some do it the whole gender is blamed.. the BEST part is all the women trying to shout hoarse that men are this, men are that ..
    etc etc

    do have men in their family what about them .. if one of the men in them does something like that will they be treated the same way 🙂

    1. What I am about to say is going to make me hugely unpopular if I say it out loud….. WE ARE A SOCIETY OF HYPOCRITES… NO EXCEPTIONS!
      If it were to be done by someone in our family and knowing it would either be a “misunderstanding” or the mistake of “anyone else” except our family member. It is cliche’ and yet I quote – “When others do it, it is a mistake, when we do it, it is a misunderstanding”. That’s the logic people live by!

      Thanks for dropping by. I hope I soon come around to your blog as I have a lot of catching up to do!

  3. First comment. And I agree with you. To quote an e.g., my toe can be crushed by a high heel in a bus where there’s space to stand, but I can’t accidentally step on a lady’s toe in a crowded bus. For both incidents, I get yelled at 😛 (Not as serious as the issues you’ve discussed, but trying to make a light-hearted comment for your totally thoughtful thought)

    1. You may not see it as a serious example, but I do. Why is it ok for the female to step on you, when it was “by mistake”, if at all she concedes it was her mistake, when the same “mistake” cannot happen by you?
      Am glad you came by, I had thought that my lack of time to my blog and others’ would have made all my readers run away by now!

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