A Tough Choice

Here’s a very small post, with a very important question!

The mere thought of this made me cry for over an hour a few nights back. Asking you this question, my intention is not to make you go through the same pain or confusion but to help you understand your own mind and heart.


SITUATION 1 : You leave this world before your parent(s).

The + point – You never need to feel the loss of them going

The – point – You leave them with the pain of losing the child they gave birth to, and saw grow up.




SITUATION 2: They leave this world before you.

The + point – They are saved from the above mentioned pain.

The – point – You get to live through that tragedy and the life afterwards with the gap of their absence.



Which would you rather have? Bear the pain yourself and or give it to them?; or putting it differently, face death yourself first or let them face it first?


Please think and answer!

12 thoughts on “A Tough Choice

  1. First time here. Read a few posts. Very well written. Impressed. Will be a regular visitor here.

    I want to comment on this particular post. If the child goes first or the parents go first, the grief will be there. But for how long? If the child goes first, the parents’ grief will be there for a year and then life becomes normal. If the parents leave first, the life becomes normal after a couple of months. If they are very old like in their 90s, the children’s life become normal within 24 hours. Of course, there are exceptions. But in general, no one live thru the tragedy for ever. Pardon me if you disgree with me.

    1. First of all, thank you for the compliments.
      Secondly, there is nothing to ask pardon for, we may have different beliefs, that does not mean one of us id right while the other is wrong.
      Our beliefs are based on what we experience or see. Mine is different from your’s but that is perfectly normal.
      Thanks once again for dropping by. I’ll be visiting your blog soon. 🙂

  2. once krishna jumped into the pond to take his ball .. he asked his mother yashoda to fetch the ball but she denied .. krishna knew there’s no cming back from pond but because he himself was god .. so he managed to get out of the pond with the ball .. after the incident, yashoda cried and said sorry to krishna for letting him go alone in the pond .. but krishna said to his mother – from now on, the parents will see death of their son before their own dealth .. and that’s how it’s been happening since then !


  3. A few days back, you had written a post called, “Perfect life”. What if everything was perfect? Would it make life better? This would perhaps come under one question of that. One of the two is bound to happen, unless the rare chance that both parents and I will leave the earthly abode together.

    In the eventuality, I think I’d take the pain myself.. because they’d have been through pain before I was born too, and to give them more would be unfair. God forbid and I pray that no one gets to feel that pain too soon.

    1. Truly said! And thanks for thinking this over..
      As for leaving together, do u realize that for another person it is 3 people all going at the same time (eg: how would your sister be able to take it)………

      1. Leaving, be it together or alone is going to give pain to people. You are thinking of family.. but leaving alone also would give pain to others as well.. friends, colleagues..etc. who love and care for you. But perhaps, that’s eventuality. Can’t be avoided. All we can do is create happy moments that will stay as memories to give them atleast that 1% of cheer if possible.

  4. After my son died, I pondered this question. Then later, after some spiritual questioning, and realization, that it’s not easier for anyone in the situation. Those who die are separated from us too, and they also go through the grief. It matters not what a person’s belief structure regarding where we go afterwards; we still cry when we leave behind those whom we have loved dearly.

    1. I am at a loss of words right now! To go through the grief and have such clarity of vision regarding it is something I rarely say. For that matter, you are the 2nd person in my whole life who has seen a tragedy logically. Regards to you!

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