An hour today

Today, like many days I spent nearly an hour today being with another side of me. This is the side of me that lives ‘in the grief’ of the loss of my maternal grandmother.

When I am this Janhvi, I cry my heart and throat out for as long as it takes me to stop being irrational and too emotional. When I am being irrational, I can be heard saying things like, “I want her to return. Nanima please return” etc. I will wail continuously and cry A LOT.

I know, I know, it doesn’t make sense, she passed away in June 2010. But this is something that still hurts me the most.

Take care everyone.

P.S. Ending with something that made my mood get back on track for normalcy again.

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6 thoughts on “An hour today

  1. I lost my grandfather this past November, and it still freaks me out every time I realize that I won’t be seeing him again. It just seems so unreal. It’s crazy that the people who left such big prints on our hearts can just go away someday. You deserve to grieve, but don’t forget the amazing memories I am sure she left behind!

    • I understand how you feel. It’s heartbreaking. Till date, I feel that there must be some way she could come back to us. And what has made me an emotional wreck is that I lost my other grandmom in nov 2011. Thanks for sharing ur story and for the concern.

  2. Indeed, The loss reciprocates through life for a long time, But I am sure you will come in terms with it Jhanvi, The truth is in everyone lives we have these dark days and dear people who they desperately desire back, but that’s not how the world works and you know this better than me.I know I can but only imagine your pain and please be sure my heart looks out for you. may you find peace soon and may you be tranquil again.

    And of cause that carbon producing Chickens, ( Lets kill them all and eat em up )

  3. Its tough losing someone, I lost my mother some years ago and it’s still tough. I’ve learnt over time that it’s ok to let it all out. To miss her and cry for her. To just grieve. Time does help. I won’t say it heals but it helps to live with the pain.

    • Oh my! I am so sorry to hear that. If my loss of my grandmother is affecting me so much, I cannot even start to imagine what losing one’s mother would be like.
      As for time, you are right… it never heals, just becomes habitual to live with it.

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