Forgive and FORGET!

These two are not just often spoken together but need always be together.

People often say, I forgive you but I can never forget what you did. I’m sorry to break the news to you guys, but if you can’t forget, you can’t forgive. You have to forget what they did in order to forgive them. You tell me that it’s nearly impossible to forget actions of others, and I say that this means it is nearly impossible for you to forgive someone.

Why do I say that? Remember the last time someone did something bad to you, apologized and was Forgiven by you? Now think, if that same person did something bad to you again, your first thought would be that he hurt you “again”, just like he did that one time. I am sure of this because when I asked you to remember such an incident, you did remember it.

Forgiveness means to let go of the hurt you felt. When you say, “I forgive you”, you mean that you no longer feel bad/hurt by what the other person did. But if that is the case, why does it cross our mind often when that same person hurts us again.

The things that we forgive others for, get forgotten too. If it’s not forgotten, it’s not forgiven. When you genuinely wish to forgive someone, forget the hurt they caused to you.

Take care.

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24 thoughts on “Forgive and FORGET!

  1. I agree with you, one must forgive and forget.To forgive is not in the interest of the offender but in the interest of the offended.To minimize to pain anger that can’t reverse the unfortunate situation.One feels better after forgiving than if he kept a grudge.

      • So what the different,sound like cheating to yourself.because you can’t take it anymore,that why wish to find peace within yourselves.if can’t forget and how to forgive…and how you can feel peace in you?Well i try to give a example:”Load your personal suff into your bag which weight 5Kg for a long journery…starting you stlll ok with it,but after sometime you start to feel heavy,somehow the weight of the bag did’t change,but you start to get tired,and you keep on carry it ,without unstrip your bag to take a rest ….so this time ,you start to feel pain and tired,even you do take a rest.can you took the tired and your pain feel away before you reach your destination so how long it can last…!!!
        It’s still a long way to go,so question is do you want to let it go….

        sorry that my english is not that good,but wish to share my view.correct me if i was wrong.hope my personal view did’t cause any misunderstanding.
        With care
        J uji

        • It’s great to have someone share their views so openly on what I write. The whole point of my writing is to stir thought, not just in others, but also get to hear other’s perspectives and induce thought in others.
          🙂
          Great to have you here.
          Thanks.

  2. hmmm…..
    gehri baat hai…. and I do see you talk about serious stuff….
    but you need to know baby… that this is not serious thing at all…. and also it has nothing to do with anyone’s expectation….
    now I am coming to point… First I would like it more if you write it as a first person… that I understand is important for introspection.. and all life is nothing but introspection…
    baharhaal… the point I would like to lay here is that in these two(forgive & Forget) one is the fall out of the other…
    that means… if I forget… I have forgiven…
    and If I forgive I have forgotten….
    I cannot forgive and forget both…. because.. in my forgetting… I don’t even think that the act is worth forgiving.. so I will just forget it.. as if nothing happened…
    and in my forgiving… I can forgive only when I have already forgotten… whatever the pain or hurt it has caused… and if I say I forgive.. but still remember that pain.. I am only doing it on the surface…
    and that my dear child is not forgiving…
    well…
    I have said what I said… and this is correct for me.. and for me only… you will need to work and find what is your correct…
    and please know that in finding your correct… you cannot say that the other is wrong….
    Luv..
    Tk care..

    • I agree that one indeed is the fallout of the other, but it needs to be explained in terms of two things.
      And I have tried writing in first person, it doesn’t come out well for a blog.
      🙂

  3. whoa! what a big burst of wisdom from jj 😀 good point.. but I guess some hurts aren’t as easy to forget as we think.. 🙂 nice post!

  4. Good pick, and nice read!! .. forget(ignore) because he’s (one who hurt you) your friend and simply ignore (i mean don’t care) him if he’s not your friend 🙂

  5. May be true but still difficult to accept the fact. My way is ‘i never try to come across the person who severely hurt me. I try to avoid them by all possible means without inflicting any pain on them for their mistake.’ This way i try to forget which amounts to forgive as you say..

    • You go towards the extreme but then if it allows you to forget and eventually forgive, it’s a nice way.
      Thanks for dropping by and sharing your view point.

  6. oooops .. I am one who does not FORGET.. forgive i do and have done it a lot many times .. but i cant forget cause I try not to hurt anyone and i expect others to not hurt me too 🙂

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