Guest Post by Karuna ma’am

bhaiyon aur behnon….

are u in school? cant wait to get out of the monotiny( is that a word?
) of school and teachers who tell you to stand at one arms length from
the girl/boy in front of you in assembly and asks for your math
notebook and then even checks it and screams at you if you havent
completed excercise 2.3 of permutations and combinations?

well…let me tell you all of you suckers about some of my favourite
words..they are:
1. gooblesmoochie
2. jackmoron(a combination of jackass and of course moron)
3. kunnabaina bhabhuji
4. pandora
5. coochie coochie coo

anyway,
so, here’s the thing…ENJOY YOUR SCHOOL DAYS WHILE THEY LAST BECAUSE
THESE ARE LITERALLY THE BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE!!  ask briam adams if
you dont believe me …he even wrote a song about it.

well, ok a coin always has two sides to it right…so college might
just turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you but this
post is about the pernicious side of college. 😡

so, ok…i would like to give you all some enlightenment about college
and strategies to save your ass AND face from the vaishi darindaes
that you will probably encounter there just waiting to pounce on you
and gobble you up! like NOM NOM NOM NOM

ok..so dont get scared now…have a mountain dew break.

alright, that’s enough break.

ok, so the moment your parents bid you farewell and you are all alone
with your room mates dont do the following:
1. hug your room mate and shriek “yay!!! we are going to be best
friends forever” …alright i know that all of you are thinking like ”
wa?? i would never do such a stupid thing” but believe me you might
just surprise yourself and say something even worst than the above
illustration.
2. do not go for the color blocking fashion yet. its still in its
rudimentary stages and people in india dont even know about it yet.
for u fashion kaala akshar bhais barabar people color blocking is like
the newest thing in fashion which basically means wearing totally
unmatched clothes : color wise. like wearing purple with yellow or
something.
3. do not display any signs of weaknesses.
4. do not borrow anything from anyone for atleast 2 months of the
starting of college. specially not sanitary napkins.
5. dont do too much makeup. stay away from blush.
6. dont raise your hand in class for at least a month.
7. dont put mehndi.
8. dont talk too much about how great your school friends were or how
much fun you had or what all trips you went to.
9. even if there is a really hot guy in the college and you have a
mini crush on him , dont admit it.
10. if you already have a bf from school , dont mention about him to
your room mate or to anyone else for that matter.
11. dont sleep with your door unlocked
12. dont wear too much of bling or jazzy or bedazzeled clothes or accessories.
13. even if you watch sas bahu serials dont go gaga over them in the
college. wait for the right moment to admit you like soaps.
14. dont leave your underarms hairy.
15. dont wear bell botoms. please.
16. dont make fun of the weird kids even if everyone else is. he/she
might come in handy later.
17. do not i repeat do not get involved in the local gossip or take
interest in it.
18. dont have lice in your hair. people will immediately outcast you.
19. dont get over friendly with the opposite sex too soon. people will
talk about you,
20. always brush your teeth after you have onions and always check for
bad breadth.
21. even if your friend/ room mate is talking on the phone for hours
to someone dont ask them who they were talking to.
22. dont ask ” whats in that bag?” when you see someone coming back
from outside.

well…if you try all these tactics….you might just not get
categorized as one of the freak ass weirdos in college who everyone
picks on.
basically, just dont be too conspicuous.

and yeah, who ever told you that ” beta 12th tak padh lo, colleg mein
to masti hai” is a nutcase and college is no joke.

anyway.
goo buy.

Karuna

http://karunawrites.wordpress.com

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