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Gender Equlaity

Note – Before I even begin to write what is on my mind, let me clarify that I am aware of and agree to the following, lest I be reminded of these later:

  • Women were mistreated in all possible ways for many many years and still are in some segments
  • The concept of women not being equal to men was never gladly accepted and is still not.
  • Systems such as Dowry, Parda et all should never have existed and should not exist
  • Female foeticide and infanticide are a deplorable reality

HAVING SAID ALL OF THIS, my focus in this post is on the middle class segment of the society which BY AND LARGE does not suffer from these ailments (or at least not in a violent way) – EXCEPTIONS ARE MANY I KNOW!

Today, I will be concentration on equality that needs to be provided to the MEN in our society. Most people must be agreeing with me, but never state the same given that it is completely against what SHOULD be said.

I want the females reading this to picture the following (the men are already a part of this so no need for them to imagine):

  • A coach specifically reserved for the ladies in the Metro, and the right to travel in all other coaches as well – and then when in PEEK Rush Hour, some females decide to board the general coach, the expectation by them that all men will maintain one arm’s distance from them – and every time the same is not done (simply because it is not possible in that kind of crowd), the women cry hoarse over the issue subjecting the men to humiliation and shame. [I have seen this so many times in the last one month plus of travelling by metro that I pity the poor men]
  • A woman can flirt with any man around her that she wishes to, and it is supposed to be taken as a compliment by the men – but the minute a man she doesn’t WANT attention from decides to flirt with her, all charges of molestation, eve-teasing etc. are rattled off on the guy. EITHER disallow the women also from flirting with the men THEY THINK FIT OR allow the men also to flirt with the women THEY THINK FIT.
  • During a fight between two people, the woman may threaten to kill, destroy, harm the man and the man is supposed to understand that she is saying all these things in anger (even if she may have meant them), but the man as much as glares at the woman or as much as moves his hand (not hitting her), a case of Domestic Violence is slapped on to the guy.
  • A woman decides to dress in absolutely see through clothes (I have seen a female – on a metro platform, dressed in a white see through skirt, to the extent that her inner garments were visible). Such woman expects to attract all the attention she WANTS and no UNWANTED attention. It’s simple – you don’t want men of all kinds staring at you – don’t wear such clothes at 9:30 in the night in a public place. Any man who as much as looks in the direction of such females  will be called names and questions will be raised on everything ranging from his character to his upbringing.
  • The woman (wife) can decide to disrespect her in-laws, not even be courteous to them, take their son away (literally) from their home and lives and no-one bats an eyelid, but if a man as much as suggests that the girl’s family is too interfering, this amounts to CRUELTY on the woman.
  • In any given field today, there is reservation for Lower Castes, Economically backward,….., Women – Where it leaves the general category men, I shudder to think.

At no point am I claiming that middle class females are not subject to atrocities. My sole contention is that, for the acts of a few, why is the whole community of men being held guilty. Why have we made it a habit to assume it is the man’s fault? Why is it that before we even know an iota of the story, we assume that somehow somewhere the man is wrong? If the woman is angry, it is the man;s fault, he must have caused the provocation; if the man feels angry, it is the man’s fault, he should not have given in to the provocation, “if at all” by the woman. EQUALITY???

The following video shows just what equality should mean (I INSIST EVERYONE WATCH IT ONCE) -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1JADWjEajg

 

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Guest Post by Shirley – Thought can reveal the identity and ideas

I was pleasantly surprised the other day, to get a mail from this fabulous thinker and wrote, Shirley, who was interested in writing a guest post for my humble blog. How could I refuse! 

Though the article was over quiet some time back, it has been my absence of time, that it is being posted today. I hope you all like the thought expressed in the article because it is the thoughts that reveal the identity and ideas. Handing over from the next line to the actual article…..

 

                             Topic: Thought can reveal the identity and ideas.

Introduction:

Human thought processes are indeed unique and incomparable, very much like digital signatures or fingerprints, which may not be similar even for identical twins born from the same womb, perhaps at the same time. Essentially, our thoughts turn into logical and patterned thought process, which in turn gives rise to ideas, ideas to words, and finally words to print. The human thought process between germination of a thought and its final appearance on print is performed in just seconds, or even nano seconds but the process has taken months or even years to develop and perfect. Since people are unique species, our thought processes and the way thought traffic is handled is also inimitable and personable. Indeed our thoughts speak a great deal about our identity and also our ideas.

 

How do thoughts reveal identity:

Most of our thought process could be quantitatively analyzed and surmised since although our individual reactions to situations may be different, the thought process behind them is essentially similarly processed by our psyches and conscious minds. For instance, if somebody were to ask another man in order to test his thought process – Imagine that you are travelling alone in a dense forest and a roaring tiger jumps in front of you, what would you do?

There are three options to choose from:

  1. Stare at the tiger straight at his eyes and make it slink back and vanish
  2. Run back the way you came from
  3. Wait for the hungry beast to devour you

Only a few of us would have the courage to answer it as answer 1. Most of us would not stare back at a tiger, even if it were safety ensconced in a zoo cage. So the minority which said that they would stare back are either lying, or are indeed intrepid and brave people who thrive on challenge and risks like meeting tigers during evening walks.

The second solution is where most humans would belong. In the choice between “Fight or Flight”, flight mode dominates. This shows an escapist attitude, an inability to take risks or thrive on challenges and. cannot be accepted for b-school acceptance since this candidate cannot be considered as management material.

Finally, coming to the third option, while it does denote patience and perseverance, spending time together with a living tiger, it also reveals a mindset of fatalism and acceptability without even the semblance of a fight. Such a person could best serve in a parish as church bell attendant?

How could our lives be improved ad exalted?

Essentially, human thoughts and attitudes could be seen to be of two kinds- those of us who are pro active and need to have needed to exercise command over people, circumstances and destiny and the second, who passively allow destiny to take charge of their lives. The former forces issues while the latter is forced down by issues. Indeed the thoughts and its ultimate actions do reveal the identity and personality of the thinker and doer.

Coming to ideas also, there is needed to ascribe two personality types – one who is able to get the best out of a bad bargain. These people hope for the best but also prepare for the worst situation. The other types of thinkers are those who allow circumstance to control and dictate terms to them. These are very evident from their thought process which is either filled with optimism, hope and brightness, seeing the goodness in every situation and making best use of them, or secondly, the brooders, pessimists and negative minded who only see the dark side of life and who are thus comsigned only to darkness throughout their lives through their own voluntary dark thinking processes.

 

Conclusion:

Indeed humans are the makers and creators of their own destinies and the use of positive, constructive and humane attitude and thought process would add happiness and dispel the darkness or vice versa.

 

Author Bio:

I am Shirley Burrill, involved with USA essay writing companies that provide the platform for students to improve and clarify their doubts about the descriptive essay writing ideas. I am always focused on creative thinking.

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On my mind…

Today as I opened this site after months altogether, I realized how much I have missed it..not…

My notification bar tells me my blog turned 4 on the 12th of this month. I remember how till last year the birth-date of my blog used to be a huge deal for me… so what changed in the past one year:

1. I had less time as there were shorter semesters, tougher subjects and longer internships OR

2. I lost the knack to write as most topics I can think of are already being written about and mostly better than how I could write them OR

3. I JUST CHANGED…. NO EXCUSES ATTACHED

There was a time I used to think people who called blogging a “fad” or “a passing craze” were out of their minds. Now I realize how true they were…. at least in my case. I cannot speak for anyone else.

Anyhow, I am not here just to tell you why I stopped blogging. Am here to write on something that has been on my mind far too long, and regarding which, even though the whole world seems to be saying what I would in the post, I feel the need to write my views.

Our Hon’ble Supreme Court just il-legalized gay sex and in short being gay again. Four years of so called peace, atleast from the legal aspect to these people and now this.

A lot of people on the other side of the table from me say that it is unnatural and the more “progressive” ones say that even though it is natural and we are none to decide who can love and sleep with whom, Indian society is not yet ready for it. Well, dear friends, the apex Court seems to agree with you all.

What issue can I raise that has not already been raised throughout media, actual or virtual. Nothing.

And yet, at the cost of repetition I want to ask, WHO do we think we are, deciding for them what to do and what not.

Being gay or lesbian is not a disease, or a choice, they are born that way. If “Nature” made them that way, how by any stretch of imagination can it be “unnatural”…… Please someone explain this to me BY LOGIC.

Even if it is not supported by our culture (if at all) or by the protectors of our religions…… Is it not time we changed our views.

If that be the case, if YOU want to take up the offence/ defense of religion and culture, why has the same Hon’ble Court legalized live in relationships thus legalizing pre-marital sex; or divorce; or Widow remarriage et all.

The examples I just took may seem unrelated. I hear a few people say that these are basic rights, eg: a woman to remarry if her husband dies and not to lead a dead life. But trust you me, this much, if not more havoc was created when it was first mentioned of being legalized… How is this any different?

To all those seeking a “cure for this disease” or “a tag of illegality to continue on it”… I ask you, Then What? It is illegal and immoral for gay or lesbian couples to be together…. Next? They have to forcefully marry someone of the opposite gender… Next? They have to have sex with such spouse because isn’t that what all this was all about? Sex between opposite genders and not the same to be able to bear off-springs…. Next? Everyone ends up being frustrated, sad, dissatisfied……. Next? The person forced into the marriage on this end finds ways to hide and be himself/herself and has affairs with people of the same gender… while the spouse of sheer frustration, has affairs too……A HAPPILY EVER AFTER??? I just don’t see it.

As I finish writing I realize that this is far from my good posts… and is nearly a rant… but I had to say what I had to say….

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One sided

Love, if it is true, is always one sided.

I do not mean to say here that two people cannot be in mutual love of each other. That, though in actuality rare, is possible.

What I want to convey is, that if one truly loves the other person, it is going to be one sided. The feeling one has for the other is not going to be dependent on how the other feels. For the lack of a better word, one may say that all love, in essence, is platonic.

If it weren’t so, and if in fact we were dependent on reciprocity to truly love someone, it would become a mere transaction. just a “give and take“. No?

Sounds complex and unreal!  Understand this by this example.

Pick up any person that you know you truly love. Husband/ Wife/ Parent/ Sibling/ Child……. Now, if that person were to not love you back, for whatever reasons; keeping aside the hurt/ anger etc of not being loved back, would you really stop loving that person? If your sibling told you he/she was indifferent towards you, you may be upset, but would that knowledge that there is no reciprocity, end your love for that person.

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Think hard…. And here’s the clincher… if your answer to my above question is that lack of desired emotion from the other end would actually hold a place in deciding your emotion for that person; it’s a sad state of affairs for you and that particular relation. Not from the side of that person, but from your side.

Now I’ll move on to the next level question. That is, if you agree with what I said above.

Now that we know that love for the other person is not dependent on them, why is it so important that the other person reciprocate. Yes, it would be great if he/she did. But what we end up doing is making ourselves miserable if that is not the case. Why?

That person did not ask you to love them. If you, by your own free will, decided that you loved them, do they not get the free will to decide not to have that emotion for you? It is funny how the persons we claim to love become culprits in our eyes if they decide to practice their free will. They have every right not to love you, to love someone else, or feel whichever way they deem fit.

However, my focus is not on that other person, it is on you (Person 1). We get sad, depressed, low etc when we find out that our emotions are only from our end. Now that we know that it isn’t actually of consequence for our emotion that how the other person feels, be happy and grateful that you got a chance to live in the emotion.

An emotion as positive as love, and we blemish it by sighting it as reason for our sadness……Ironical!!!

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Skeptical Indian

I am today the skeptical Indian. I do not believe what I hear. I find what I see very hard to believe.

What is promised to me as a citizen of this nation is the hardest of all to believe.

Skeptical

 

When I turn on the news, and after yet another incident of rape/ violence / scams by the powerful, the politicians say things will change and are changing, I am skeptical.

When opening the daily newspaper means to read even more of how inhuman people around me are, and then being told such people are an exception, I am skeptical.

When my friends who are judgmental on others for little daily things, tell me their views towards society are different and novel, I am skeptical.

When the people set out to protect the streets, protect the offenders from protesters itself, I am skeptical.

When the protesters who gather to raise their voice against injustice to women, give the women around them dirty looks, I am skeptical.

But most of all, when I realize all of this, and wish to change my thoughts , yet am unable to, I am skeptical.

I am the Skeptical Indian my friends. Are you?

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Can’t get this off my mind

I have written about this more than twice already, and yet I am unable to get this off my mind. How can I, when everyday the newspaper reminds me of it in abundance.

I challenge somewhere here, in India, to find a paper of the capital, Delhi, of any recent date, that has not reported a rape case.

  • 3 year old raped in day care centre
  • 9 year old raped in school
  • 15 minors raped in the last two months
  • Another girl gang-raped in auto in capital

These are https://jojofeelings.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.phpthe news items of the last 4 days, not necessary in order. And what are we doing, lighting candles or announcing on TV and Radio that we need to bring a change. Where is the change since 16th December? Has anything changed AT ALL? I have my doubts.https://jojofeelings.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.php

Some of my friends say that the rape situation is indeed getting BETTER as atleast now girls are coming out and reporting the cases. I agree, to an extent, and yet again I ask, is that what this should be about? How many cases are reported? Should it not be about how many cases there are? Should we feel proud of the increasing number of reported cases or should we wait (hopefully not endlessly) for a time when the reported cases are 100% of the actual cases and yet they are less in number than at present?

Today, I wish to share a video which had gone viral on facebook a few weeks back. Watching that video may have made us all think of how appropriate it is, but for how long?

Mombatiyan Jalane se kuch nahi hoga mere bhai, kuch nahi badalne yahan pe, apne dimag ki batti jalao

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Liebster Angel

A few days back, my very good friend and fellow blogger Ankit honoured me by bestowing on to me the Liebster Award.

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To read about what the award is, he has explained it in his post “here“.

The rules of the award are:

  • Post 11 things about yourself
  • Answer 11 questions set by the nominator
  • Choose 11 deserving bloggers meeting the criteria
  • Set 11 questions for them.
  • Inform the nominee by commenting on one of their posts.

You are not obligated to accept the award to send it forward. This is just a way to get a word out about new blogs that your followers may not know.

11 things about myself:

  • I am a die hard fan of old songs and only very few of the new ones appeal to me
  • Comedy sitcoms are my weakness
  • I prefer salty food over sweets
  • I am very very moody at times
  • I love to read and write but somehow lose interest soon in both these days
  • I absolutely adore debating with someone who can debate with valid points
  • I do not mind losing a debate if the other person has fair points to tell
  • As of today, I want nothing more than to go back and start living at home again
  • Some people irritate me for no reason whatsoever
  • I tend to trust people too soon
  • I just realized I can only list 10 things about myself (this counts :p )

The 11 answers

  •  What brought you to the blogging world? – My interest in the blogging world was started by a senior of mine in college and thereafter by you and another acquaintance who maintained a blog.
  • Life according to your perspective? – Life is what we make of it, without exceptions. We are that which we got onto ourselves.
  • Do you believe in Karma System? – I believe that without doing so consciously, we ourselves pay for our wrongs, so in that sense, we are our own Karma.
  • If given a chance to go back into your past…Name one thing you would change in your life? That one incident that has made my parents the most embarrassed and made them sad the most.
  • A person you cant live without? – My sister
  • Most dreaded dream that you don’t want to come true? – Too many on an equal footing
  • A thing of past, you want to change? – Repeated question, same answer
  • A message for fellow bloggers? – Write only because you want to, and when you do, don’t let anything stop you
  • Your Favorite Blog (Apart from your Own) – Some Solved Riddles, I Rhyme Without Reason and Point Blanc or Blank Point
  •  One thing That makes you Smile? – My siblings and cousins
  • A few honest words about my blog? – Think more often and about more things. You have much more potential than you think you do.

11 “worthy” bloggers is too hard to choose, so am keeping this numberless, am giving it to as many people as I think fit (sue me for breaking the rules) :

The 11 questions :

  • Your views on GOD and his doings?
  • Your first wish if a Genie were around?
  • What do you think should be the punishment for the “juvenille” in the Delhi case (at present the maximum punishment he can be given by law is 3 years community service and stay in an observation home)?
  • You are most materialistically possessive about?
  • The person you are most possessive about?
  • The song you relate to the most?
  • The most idiotic/ outrageous comment you have ever received about you?
  • The best compliment you have ever received?
  • The one thing in the past you wish you could change?
  • One honest opinion about my blog?
  • What should I change about my blog?

Take care all.